I would like to start with the Texas State Fair which ended a couple of weeks ago. I went twice and I have to say was unimpressed. A state this size, I was expecting more. They have the fair around the Cotton Bowl. This is probably because the parking structure is already in place. Speaking of the Cotton Bowl, I was also unimpressed. It looks MUCH bigger on TV and in far better shape than it actually is. I didn’t realize that the Dallas Cowboys used to play there until they moved into Texas Stadium in Irving in 1971. I guess that shouldn’t shock me that I didn’t know that since when they moved I was one year old… But I digress… The fair was really anti-climatic for me. Actually I thought Ohio’s fair was much better. And for you who have been to Ohio’s fair, you know that isn’t saying much.
The keystone to the Texas State Fair is Big Tex. He is, well…Big. And every now and then he says “howdy folks, welcome to the Texas State Fair.” He is sponsored by and (unfortunately for him) dressed in Wrangler Jean attire. Honestly, if I were from Texas it would be embarrassing. However, everyone seemed to be very taken with a twenty foot tall cowboy saying “Howdy.” All I could think of was Howdy Doody (or however you spell that puppets name). The overall adjective I have for this experience is…well, just odd.
I believe I told several or all of you that my manager is leaving me and has taken a new position with Optical Operations inside the Health and Wellness Division. This is mostly because they have split his current role into two Senior Managers. One Sr. Manager will be in charge of the Diversion Investigators, while the other will be in charge of the Optical Lab Facility Team and the Pharmacy/Optical Income Development Support positions. I really want the position that will be over the Lab AP Managers and would have liked to be included in the candidate pool. However, they are not going to allow me to post for this position because of two reasons. First, there is some ambiguity about what is my “time in position requirement.” Policy states that field associates are held to 6 months and Home Office associates are held to 18 months. So the basic question comes down to semantics, am I a Home Office associate placed in the field or am I a field associate who reports directly to the Home Office. Thus this presents problem number two, which is I don’t have “time in position” either way that falls (which it is looking like 18 months now…). So, for me to post for this position, the process will have to go as follows: 1. They post it. 2. Candidates apply. 3. They interview all who meet the minimum requirements. 4. They do not offer it to any of those candidates. 5. Then they open the position to persons who do not meet the “time in position” requirement. Which we all know that is never going to happen. So I am screwed for the next 13 months. This is OK since I really don’t want to leave Texas just yet. I am really enjoying it down here. Did I mention it is 85 degrees today… :)
Well, this past weekend I celebrated my 17th anniversary of my 21st birthday. Its fun staying 21 the rest of my life, and I glad I decided to do it…
As you may or may not know, a friend from Columbus decided to cut his yearly vacation to Phoenix short and come spend a few days in Dallas. Kevin got here Thursday evening and left Sunday late afternoon. It was really good to see him and was nice to have someone to hang with on my birthday weekend. We rented a few games for the Playstation and pretty much spent the evening playing football, golf and a “kill’em all game.” The following day he wanted to go to as many Hooters as possible, but I advised that he was in Texas. And in Texas, Hooters isn’t the highest quality dining establishment I would recommend. I told him that if he was looking for quality dining and, ummmm, fine décor that we would have to visit other establishments. However, that initially fell on deaf ears. As it turns out, for Hooters 25 year anniversary they are handing out “passports.” Which, if you are able to acquire 25 unique Hooter stamps in your “passport”, you are registered to win $25,000 dollars. After explaining this logic, it seemed completely reasonable to me to attempt to visit as many Hooters as possible in the Metro-plex. So, on Friday – Halloween, we began our quest at the nearest Hooters in Lewisville which has the hot coeds from the local universities working (woops, that was out loud, wasn’t it). We then visited the Irving, Arlington (north), Downtown Dallas, Addison and Grapevine Hooters. And, before you ask, no we did not eat at each Hooters. No one could survive eating at 6 Hooters restaurants in one day. However, there was an added bonus. If you recall from above, it was Halloween. This means the Hooter girls put down their boring old orange and white uniforms for hot and sexy Halloween costumes. So the bonus was we were able to see all of the Hooter girls in their various skimpy outfits. Completely worth the gas spent…
After our Hooters experience, I decided to show him his other options in this town as opposed to Hooters. I told him about the Wing House, but we didn’t go there. It basically is a COMPLETE rip-off of Hooters. It is exactly the same restaurant, theme, food items and even uniforms. The only difference is that instead of white top and orange shorts, they wear black on black. Not very unique. So, I decided to take him to the second best place, the infamous (and by infamous I mean because I posted about it previously) Twin Peaks. And yes, the name is a play on words. The main problem with this place is it has terrible food. However, the plus is they have really hot girls in even more skimpy uniforms. They are dressed like lumberjacks, well, I mean if lumber jacks were Playboy models who showed a lot of mid drift and leg. Not sure why you would want to see lumberjacks showing mid-drifts and legs. Come to think of it, that was a terrible analogy. I completely strike that sentence. They wear flannel half shirts with short shorts and boots. Of course, this was Halloween so they were wearing even less. I think Kevin appreciated the décor. Nonetheless, we did not eat there. If you want a Hooters-like experience with actually good food, you must go to Cutie Pies. Hot girls in half shirts, short shorts and cowboy boots with REALLY good barbeque food. Of course, I had to do all this research RIGHT before Kevin got here because I would have no idea about these places… Rushed that didn’t I… Oh well, a couple people might have bought it…
Later that evening, we decided the proper way to celebrate my birthday was to visit a couple of Gentlemen Clubs. After all, this is Dallas and when in Rome, well you know. So we decided to visit both ends of the spectrum. We went to Baby Dolls which is kind of like the “working mans” strip club. Not really a “rough” crowd, but you sure aren’t going to hear a “please” or “thank you” in this club. It was a nice time with the exception of the constant annoyance of playing one country music song after another. Most of you already know this isn’t my favorite genre, but they weren’t even playing hits…go figure. After we left there, we decided to hit a higher end club called the Spearmint Rhino. This is a spin off of the supposedly infamous club in Las Vegas. There were a lot of Benz, BMW and other expensive cars in the parking lot. I might add they were parked next to a tiny, very inexpensive Dodge Caliber. I valet parked. I could only imagine what that guy was thinking…”what am I suppose to do with this piece of …” I just smiled and took my ticket. This was a very interesting experience. We meet a girl who is supposed to be a Maxim Magazine model. She is supposed to be in the December issue. I will have to get that issue to see if she lied (as if I needed a reason). My bet is she did, although she was good looking enough to believe. She told me she turned Playboy down. That I didn’t believe… The only thing that really stuck in my mind about this place was the idiot who through a wad of money over the head of one of the dancers (it must have been fifty dollars in ones). Kevin and I looked at each other right after he did it with the same expression on our faces. You guessed it, we thought “what a moron with way too much money…” Clearly his brain activity had shifted south…
The next day we decided that since Kevin already kicked my ass in Playstation Golf, that we would go and actually play golf. (This next sentence is for all you Ohioans – even though it is nice today and tomorrow it will be could again after that) The weather was clear blue sky, 85 degrees and an ever so gentle breeze…did I mention that this is NOVEMBER. I love Texas… Don’t hate the player, hate where he lives. I don’t care who you are, that was funny. Now this is where I tell you how I soundly defeated Kevin in a complete route, since this is my blog and I can lie my ass off. Which is what that would be, since, in fact, Kevin beat me by two strokes…with rented clubs…after jet lag…and occasionally using my own clubs. I hate you Kevin…(just kidding). Really, he only used one of my clubs (the three iron), since he did not like the hybrid 3 in his bag. The first time he used it he hit it beautifully. This, of coursed, pissed me off. I immediately put a jinks on the club before he used it next, which surprisingly was very affective. So I didn’t release the jinks. The down side is I wasn’t hitting it well either and I’ve decided to blame it on the jinks. Logical, right?
When we were finished, I decided to go and hang out at the smoke shop and visit for a while. Kevin wanted to travel to Fort Worth and a little north to collect a few more Hooters stamps. I believe he collected 4 stamps in Columbus, 4 stamps in Phoenix and 12 stamps in the Metro-plex. He is now just 5 away from being disappointed because he didn’t win $25,000. What can I say, I’m an optimist.
We finished that evening and the next morning playing more games until his flight left. It was a really fun visit and hope that he does it again next year.
Now that I have finished my most recent essay…honestly, how many of you are tired after reading this? By the way you have read over 1970 words and over 10,700 characters. I bet you are thinking that is fifteen minutes you will not get back. I have checked with a local university and just by reading this, it grants you an honorary Doctorate in BS. It is from the Montgomery BS University. By the way, the BS doesn’t stand for Bachelors of Science…
Later.
0 comments:
Post a Comment